Some people have a lot of friends, others have but a few. On Facebook, you can have thousands of so-called “friends” that you never speak to or even know anything about. The Bible actually has a few things to say about friends and friendship. At least a couple of these define our relationship with God.
First of all, you make friends by being friendly. “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly” (Proverbs 18:24). A person who is angry all the time, complaining, argumentative, hurtful in his comments, rude in his actions, etc., is not going to make a lot of friends. When Job’s friends came to visit, the best thing they did for him was to sit with him quietly (Job 2:11-13). It would have helped if they had had empathy for his condition, but instead, when they presumed to speak, they began to affirm that he must have done something wrong to deserve this distress (e.g., Job 4:9). They are not too far from those who visit you in the hospital and tell you all their troubles. A friend, by definition, is friendly.
Second, a friend is a friend no matter what. “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). Fair-weather friends are the worst kind. When you are doing well, when you are respected, when you have money to spend on them, then they will go along for the ride. But as soon as you have difficulties, they disappear. “Wealth maketh many friends,” says the wise man (Proverbs 19:4). On one occasion, my family was going to a family reunion. Several wanted to ride along to the event. But when the car broke down, everyone left and found another way to the reunion. Not one stayed to help. Farewell fair-weather friends!
A third principle of friendship is that a true friend seeks your well-being even though it brings pain. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend,” says Proverbs 27:6. A friend doesn’t hurt you on purpose unless it is to help. If you are engaging in bad, unhealthy behavior, a real friend will try to intervene and assist you. On one occasion, Jesus’ family and friends went out to protect Him, mistakenly thinking He was neglecting His own health (Mark 3:20,21). While they were wrong in their assessment, they were well-intentioned. It is a truism that “iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17).
While it may be nice to have a large cadre of friends, better than that is to have God as your friend, even if all other friends fail. It was said of Abraham, “And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God” (James 2:23). “Art not thou our God, who didst drive out the inhabitants of this land before thy people Israel, and gavest it to the seed of Abraham thy friend for ever? (II Chronicles 20:7). Again, “But thou, Israel, art my servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, the seed of Abraham my friend” (Isaiah 41:8). To be called a friend by God certainly surpasses all human friendships. Abraham was the friend of God because he believed and obeyed Him.
Jesus was friendly with everyone who let Him be their friend. He was even criticized for being the friends “of publicans and sinners” (Matthew 11:19). His particular friendship with Mary, Martha and Lazarus was especially noted (John 11:11). Jesus said we, too, can be His friend in the same way. “Ye are my friends,” He said, “if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:14). Jesus proved His love for us when He was willing to lay down His life for us (John 15:13). Surely, we can obey His commands to prove our love for Him.
Sadly, it was His “own familiar friend” who betrayed Him. During the rebellion of his son Absalom, one of David’s close advisors, Ahithophel, sided with David’s enemies (II Samuel 15:12). It was about Ahithophel that David wrote, “Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me” (Psalm 41:9). Jesus, Himself, applied this passage to Judas. “I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted up his heel against me” (John 13:18). Zechariah had prophetically described this situation. “And one shall say unto him, What are these wounds in thine hands? Then he shall answer, Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends.” (Zechariah 13:6). Jesus had considered Judas a close friend, even though He knew what Judas would ultimately do. The wounds of this friend were certainly not faithful.
But the Lord puts some limits on His friendship. We cannot expect to remain friends with God, if we continue to be friends with the world. James wrote, “Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God” (James 4:4). God says, “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you” (II Corinthians 6:17). Jesus said we will either “hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other” (Matthew 6:24).
To be blessed with a multitude of friends, real friends, is a wonderful thing. Better yet is to have God as your friend. He shows Himself friendly, is my friend even in the difficult times and always seeks my good. There is no better friend than God.
Eric L. Padgett